I changed my cellphone backgound with a picture having a dark cross and 2 big words 'dying young'.
Dying, i mean it. i am sitting here, time elapse, i try to focus, try to seize it. but i can't. maybe you would say every minute is equal to everyone, but i have to say during that time, you enjoy your fun, but the only thing i got in my mind was seizing it. but i don't know how.
things turn out to be wretched. when i finished almost 20k lines of iYue. i feel i don't want to write it any more. not tired. i am fine. but i just don't want to write it any more.
suddenly, i lose my passion.
i try to summon up my courage, try to collect all of my power. i feel dispointed, i can only feel powerless .
2 years, since i graduate from school, 6 years, after the failure of colleage entrance exam, 8 years, i still can't walk out the weird cycle.
what's wrong with me. the more i want to forget the past, the more i think about it.i just mess up my life. there is even no chance to correct the old mistakes, new ones are coming.
where to end it. where to get the new start. maybe it is time to die for a new life.
whatever, i would need to finish iYue, it is the goodbye to my past.
Aza, fighting.